The Unkind Mindset

I recommend, before you look into any of the other resources, you take some time to understand what the unkind mindset is and why it's likely to be the first obstacle that you and your organisation need to overcome. Although we might do it unconsciously, unkind behaviour is an everyday part of business.

At the core of the unkind mindset is the idea work should be HARD. 

Its called the grind, you fight for success, you give it your all, you do what needs to be done at all costs. This 'motivational' quote from an article about the importance of hard work is a good example of the unkind mindset:

Being verbally or physically intimidating such as shouting, stamping or swearing.

In any other relationship this sort of behaviour is unacceptable. In a domestic context it's abuse. In a social context it's anti-social behaviour. Shouting at someone or slamming a hand down on a table is a powerful way to convince someone, but it has long term damaging effects including anxiety, depression, suicide and self-harm.

Making people feel unnecessarily bad or ashamed of themselves. 

Shame is commonly used to discourage certain behaviour  e.g. "You're an idiot if you think this is good idea" or "my 6 year old kid knows this is wrong".  It's also often positioned as a joke, but over time it causes people to be depressed, aggressive and does nothing to prevent the type of behaviour it hopes to prevent. 

Hiding the truth in order to more easily control someone's decisions.

Lying or hiding the truth is usually excused as being for the greater good e.g preventing people from talking about salaries prevents resentment. Despite good intentions, all lies are designed to take away people's freedom to choose. This damages trust which means everyone has to work harder to convince people anything they say can be trusted.

Taking advantage of generosity or naivety to avoid giving someone fair treatment.

Much like lying, exploitation damages trust. Generosity is based on trust e.g. A supplier offers more to a business trusting that they won't take more than their fair share of time & attention. If that business does take more (exploiting that generosity), it makes the supplier less likely to be generous to any business thus fixing poorer customer service to everyone. 

Making someone (feel) unwelcome in a team they need to be part of.

This is one of the most insidious and damaging behaviours. Social ostracism is a powerful tool for teaching socially acceptable behaviour (like a naughty step) but too much or too soon damages more than it teaches. It is also used not to teach but to coerce; by telling a person they'll never be part of the team unless they do X or to bully; by giving the silent treatment. 

Making someone do a menial task below their sill level. 

You've probably heard the phrase 'take someone down a peg or two'. Asking someone to do a job below their skill level is used as punishment (clean the toilet, sort the pen cupboard) where the aim is to degrade or demean someone, (literally take away their meaning or purpose) which leads to dehumanisation (treating someone as less than human) which leads to misunderstandings and ultimately cruelty.