The Kinder Mindset

First, let's look at what we mean by kindness. If we're want to use it for work purposes, it needs to be clear and measurable. We can do this by breaking it down into three parts: consideration, friendliness and generosity.

Stronger Kinder Mindset

The Stronger Kinder mindset describes how we think (and so behave) if we believe that being kinder makes us stronger. But, kind is a flexible word,  so this guide breaks it down into more actionable elements.

 How can I be kinder?

Researching & thinking about the other persons experience.

Consideration is often missed because it means stopping what we're doing to think about someone else's life and thoughts. It requires time to research their world and takes effort to imagine how our actions will change that world; all of which feels like you're not focusing on the task at hand. 

But, like all the pillars, it's not as soft as it may seem. It gives you two organisational benefits: 1. better opportunities, by seeing what they really want/need 2. reduced risk, by avoiding proposals they would likely reject.

2. Friendliness

Acting, whether seen or not, in a pleasant and un-harmful way.

Unfortunately intimidation, aggression and coercion are common workplace tactics used to make colleagues, competitors and suppliers do what we want. In the short term this is effective, but long term it damages our relationships and reputations, slowly making it harder to recruit talented people and get value from suppliers.

This gets covered in more detail in 'the good colleague score' but for now it helps to think of it as simply "do they (colleagues, clients, suppliers) enjoying working with me?". If they don't, you risk losing that relationship.

3. Generosity

Doing more or giving more than the absolute minimum. 

People's first thought about generosity is normally money.  However, remember that money is only there to make it easier to trade products & services. A worker pays their rent. That rent gets used to buy a car. The money for that car get used to pay a worker, in turn they uses it to pay rent. 

In fact, there's plenty of research to show that money is limited when it comes to motivating people and/or making them happy, especially in comparison to 'kinder' things like thanks or public praise. 


 How much or how kind?

How considerate, friendly or generous should you be? The short answer (and my final answer) is that it doesn't matter. The duty of humans to be kind to one another is a philosophical debate which has confused and frustrated experts and intelligent people for centuries. You don't have centuries. You have slightly less than one century. With this in mind, don't waste time trying to answer these questions. Just start being considerate, friendly and generous whenever you feel you can. That alone will make a positive difference. 

But what if I'm not kind enough? How many lives should you save before you're a hero? How many hours should you volunteer before you're generous? How many people should you make feel welcome before you're a friend. The answer to all these questions is one. Do what you can to be kind. That alone will change lives for the better. 

Don't measure yourself against other kind people! The majority of workforces and organisations continue to treat people badly or ignore unkind behaviour. 52% of the UK population are closed-off to other people's ideas and cultures. All you need to be is kinder than these people. All you need to do is tip the balance. It doesn't help to have kind people arguing between themselves about 'how kind?' or 'kind enough?'. Save that persuasion for people who aren't kind at all. 


That's all for now. At the end of each section (before you move onto the next one) you'll be asked to digest (think about what you've just read), discuss (talk the ideas through with other people, especially team-mates, peers and colleagues) and deliver (put what you've learned into practice). Some sections will be more about digesting, some about discussion and some delivery.


Digest

This section is a lot about the idea, so give yourself some time to to think about the three pillars: consideration, friendliness and generosity. Maybe think back over the last week or so, look at your work and ask if you considered everyone involved, if you made it a friendly and  enjoyable experience and if you could have given more (without negatively affecting yourself). 

Discuss

If you're going through this tour with someone else (which would be the best way to do it) discuss the ideas with them. I'd suggest that you don't discuss the concepts with colleagues who haven't engaged with the website yet. They'll rightly have questions which you might not have answers for, and it might lower your chances of selling in the idea later.  

Deliver

There's nothing to do yet apart from thinking differently. If you want to start writing some of your thoughts and ideas down in a diary or journal. because it may help you formulate your thoughts.